After the release of former WWE superstar (and former President and current candidate) Donald Trump following his Georgia indictment, I felt inspired. The mugshot, no matter what you think of the man (I don’t really care, this blog is apolitical), is pretty sick. I mean, look at it. He’s scowling at the camera and the shadows are making him look menacing, all while wearing his signature suit-tie combo. Also pretty wild for him to be a President with a mugshot and running again using it as promotion for his campaign. Wild times. This blog really has nothing to do with Trump, though. He just serves as the inspiration. I figured, if a President has a funny mugshot, there’s gotta be plenty in the sports world.
This article is gonna be heavily picture oriented with less writing. This is because while I was going through the mugshots, I got a little sad. While it is pretty hilarious a lot of the time, these mugshots are probably low points in many of these people’s lives, and it feels a little wrong to take advantage of that for a quick laugh. Beyond that, it also feels a bit wrong to make fun of the mugshots when they are representative of more heinous crimes, such as sex crimes and murder (we here at A2Z Sports maintain our firm stance against sex crimes and murder). Frankly, it would be pretty exhausting to have to crack dumb jokes about all of them, so I won’t. However, I will provide the name and the mugshot for all of them and maybe a quick blurb, and you can look them up if you’re so inclined. Any comments I make about crimes here obviously mean nothing, because I am not law enforcement nor am I acting as an entity of the legal system; I write sports blogs, like a real societal contributor.
I still stand by my entire article dunking on Wander Franco, though, because that was hilarious.
Without further adieu…
Ricky Williams, Former NFL Running Back
This crime isn’t bad. It’s actually hilarious. It’s just for failure to sign a traffic ticket. The mugshot is peak Ricky Williams, though. He was an electric and talented running back, but he was perhaps more famous for continuously being in hot water for smoking weed. Although I don’t personally see this as a huge deal, it’s one of the defining notes on his career. With that in mind, just look at the photo.
Mike Tyson, Boxer
Cocaine possession and a DUI. Seems pretty on brand. I probably would’ve shit my pants if I was the arresting officer, though.
Michael Dokes, Boxer
I hadn’t actually heard of this guy, but he was a WBA heavyweight champion, and was arrested for some heinous stuff. His look of total bewilderment caught my eye, though. Man, if what he was accused of was true, he should not be so shocked to be arrested.
Kirby Puckett, Former MLB Center Fielder
When I was little, I took out a book from my local library (yeah, I was intellectually curious, no big deal) about the different baseball related games that kids would play for fun and use to get better at the sport, and this book was “sponsored” by Kirby Puckett. I just looked it up and found it on Amazon for $1.45, if you’re interested in the literature I consumed when I was like 7 or 8.
I like to think this mugshot is just him winking at me for taking an interest in his compositions.
John Daly, Golfer
No surprise here, if you follow golf at all and have seen any John Daly clips. He could be described as golf’s cultural renegade.
Anyway, he got booked for public intoxication outside of a Hooters. So much for “land of the free, home of the brave” I guess.
Scottie Pippen, Former NBA Forward.
DUI again. Based on the picture, Scottie doesn’t seem to mind too much. Weird moment of tranquility from Pippen, as he’s recently been a world class hater, particularly of teammate Michael Jordan. Can’t say I don’t understand; I’d be kinda tight too if my ex-wife was dating my former teammate’s son. Tough.
Al Unser Jr., Race Car Driver
This guy was arrested for DUI, which isn’t good decision-making. He won the Indy 500 twice though, which makes you wonder… maybe there was a secret ingredient to his driving success. His coy grin suggests that this may not have been Unser’s first booze cruise.
Randy Moss, Former NFL Wide Receiver
He was arrested for bumping a cop with his car. Not sure whether the cop was in a car or not, but it doesn’t sound that serious. Randy didn’t seem to think so either, as his pursed lips make it look like he was trying to hold in a snide comment or a quick chuckle.
Charles Barkley, Former NBA Forward
He was arrested on suspicion of a DUI, but if you look at his stylish shirt and his oddly content look, he might’ve just been caught frantically leaving a night out after encountering some big ole women from San Antonio.
Deion Sanders, Former NFL Cornerback
“Smile! You’re on camera”. Prime was charged for misdemeanor trespassing, but this picture is so awesome that it was probably worth it. This would be my profile picture on every social media platform within minutes.
That concludes the list. If you have any more feel free to tweet them at us, @A2ZSportsTakes.
If you’ve signed up for our email list, thank you, and if you haven’t, there should be a pop-up on our home page. The NFL and college football are about to start, so there’s some great content on the way.