ONIONS! – A TESTIMONIAL TO BILL RAFTERY

Bill Raftery

As we inch closer to the big dance, I thought it would be a good time for a tribute to the GOAT color analyst, Bill Raftery.

Now, if you frequent this site you’d know that I love commentators, especially those that bring…

***At this point in my writing, I thought that overflowing was a great way to describe the level of emotions that my favorite announcers bring, but that overflowing wasn’t the best word for the sentence I was forming. Naturally, I looked up “overflowing syn” into Google’s search bar, and to my surprise, these are the synonyms I was presented with:

The list starts off rather tame, with an almost identical word to overflow (overful), but as we go down the line, synonyms turn into niche sayings that I have never heard before in my life. Sure, “packed like sardines” is a classic, but “full to the gunwales” and “like Piccadilly Circus”??? The bloody VPN must’ve thrown me into the British servers, innit?

Wow, time to steer the ship back on course. Where was I at again? Oh, right, my favorite announcers are those that bring emotions full to the gunwales.

Those announcers include: Gus Johnson, Bill Walton, Kevin Harlan, Doc Emrick, Mike Breen, Ian Eagle, Marv Albert, Eric Collins, and a few more I’m likely forgetting, but at the top of the list of electrifying commentators stands none other than Bill Raftery.

Not only is he one of the smartest color analysts to ever speak into a mic, simply put, Raft has the best call in sports. Some say it’s Romo’s “I don’t know Jim!”, many say the title should go to Breen’s “Bang!”, but in my eyes, there is no better call than “Onions!” (except for the double order, of course).

If you have yet to see this montage, take the four minutes out of your day:

My all time favorite call from Raft was left out of that compilation too, and it was alongside Gus Johnson nonetheless. To set the stage, Gonzaga was playing Oklahoma State in Seattle, and they were down one with 12.4 left to go. Gonzaga superstar and NCAA March Madness 07 cover athlete, Adam Morrison, hasn’t made a shot all second half (aside from a goaltending call). Take it away, Gus and Raft:

“Onions!”

“What a game! Larry Bird, baby!” (Gus’ call, but what a call it was)

“When you’re sleepless in Seattle, why not get a little kiss?!”

“Gus, Oh! Major Onions!”

“Oh, what a smooch!”

For anyone unfamiliar with the living legend that is Bill Raftery, show them that clip. It just has it all. The catchphrases, the inaudible exclamations, and all of it is wrapped up with a bow of Gus Jonson hype. Simply perfect.

Now, what does “Onions” mean, you may be wondering? Well, when I was just a wee lad, I thought it meant that the shot was so good, and such a dagger that it made you cry. It took me a while to figure out that it meant a courageous shot, in reference to how onions were used to ward off evil and eaten by soldiers to imbue bravery.

Though there haven’t been too many onions this year, Raft has been loving the “Nylon” call, and we mustn’t forget “Get those puppies organized!”. However, while those are all time classics in their own right, I’d like to end on this note:

There’s truly nobody better than Raft. Happy March everyone.

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