This blog is going to have little analytic substance and be more of a stream of thought. Just warning you. But honestly, that might be better. The NFL regular season has started, and tomorrow you’ll see hundreds of articles dissecting this game between the Detroit Lions and the Kansas City Chiefs. At least this one will be a little different.
I started writing this article at halftime. While the game hasn’t been particularly exciting to this point, it’s been solid, and maybe we’re in for a thrilling second half. But I don’t care that it hasn’t been a barnburner to this point; it’s real football.
I’d had enough of the preseason bullshit. It’s good to have when you haven’t had football, and it gives us Hard Knocks, but preseason football is watered down and almost feels like watching a Madden simulation at points. Watching preseason football is like playing beer pong with water in the cups – yeah, it’s kinda entertaining, but the real thing is a million times better.
The Lions just got a pick six from rookie Brian Branch by the way. Exciting stuff.
Anyway, preseason football is weird. It’s a game, but no one actually cares who wins, and no one (outside of the Baltimore Ravens I suppose) even remembers who wins.
It’s like watching someone play casual lawn games. Because of this, any time any starting-caliber player plays in the preseason, it doesn’t look like they’re giving full effort, and I don’t blame them. It’s interesting to see how the roster bubble players are playing because they’re giving it all for their careers, but it’s noticeably worse football, and it’s made significantly worse given that no team is installing a comprehensive gameplan or implementing interesting strategies.
Tonight’s game is night and day. The big dogs are out and they’re ready to throw some haymakers. Plus, the coaches are trying to win. Dan “Kneecap Boogeyman” Campbell showed his massive balls off in the first quarter by ripping a fake punt (succeeding and sustaining an eventual touchdown drive) from his own 17 yard-line. Rockstar shit. It’s really just refreshing to see Mahomes and Goff still playing in the second half instead of QB7 from Northwest Montana State and QB4 from Central Kentucky Tech.
The Chiefs just got a field goal and it’s 17-14 Kansas City with about 2 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. Hoping this leads to an exciting finish. My Lions moneyline bet already hit in the first quarter due to a DraftKings promo that automatically hits when the team goes up by 7 (DraftKings feel free to reach out and sponsor us. Both authors on this site have accounts on your platform. If you don’t I’m sure FanDuel, Caesar’s, and MGM are willing). I still have light action on Lions spread, but the rest of this game is gravy for me.
Back to the point again. The game feels good, and I’m thrilled to be watching. College football is back, and now the king of sports leagues, the NFL, is back. And once the king is back, the rest follow. The MLB postseason, NBA, and NHL are on the way, and we’re back in business.
Enjoy the 4th quarter. I know I will.
In other news Bill Belichick and long-time girlfriend Linda Holliday have broken up. I fired off a few tweets on this earlier.
Considering she was a “long-time girlfriend” and not a “wife”, it’s clear that the Patriots’ defensive genius was running a “cover 1” scheme rather than “cover 2”. Brilliant.
It cannot be overstated how thoroughly the Bills, Jets, and Dolphins are probably (or should be) shitting their pants. Daddy might be coming home in the AFC East. No longer is the sith lord under the oppressive time commitment of a committed relationship. His focus is now squarely on putting opposing quarterbacks in a blender. The gameplans are going to be like Beethoven symphonies on steroids and cocaine. The Patriots over on 6.5 wins has never looked brighter. And once Bill totes another Lombardi back to New England, he and Tom Brady can and will dominate the dating market as a QB-Coach duo like they dominated the NFL for two decades.
As for the football season as a whole, I’ll leave you with this hilarious video I just found. We are so, so back.