‘Tis the night before football, and all through the league,
Each player is filled with excitement, including Willie Snead;
Scheduled matchups were made, by the Commish with care,
In faith that the script, would be one to yank out hair;
The athletes are nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of griddies dance in their heads.
MCDC with his kneecaps, Coach Reid with his stache,
Rest anxious tonight, awaiting tomorrow’s big clash.
With Mahomes at the helm, who throws few picks,
The Chiefs seem capable of crushing the Lions rather quick.
But don’t count out, the young guns from Detroit,
Because Kelce is hurt, and that, they’ll be sure to exploit.
All through the offseason, we waited for these times,
To watch parlays cash, while quarterbacks drop dimes.
Each Sunday from now, on the couch I’ll sit and devour,
A six pack or two, and watch Red Zone, commercial free for seven hours.
All teams tried their best a season ago,
But this year, some will tank, in hopes to theirs, Caleb Williams will go.
The Cardinals look most likely, to have the first pick appear,
But you’d be a fool, to count out others, like those old Buccaneers.
“Now, Burrow! Now, Hurts! Now, Herbert and Allen!
And Pickett! And Purdy! And Lawrence and Jackson!
In a race for MVP, the dream shared by all!
Now snap it! And run it! And throw that damn ball!”
Fans in Philly scream “Fly Eagles, fly!”,
As Hurts looks to rebound, and be a Lombardi holding guy.
But JA’s also hungry, after seasons under Mahomes’ shoe,
So will this be the Bills’ season, or will the Mafia shout “BOOO!?”
And then there’s Herbert, who has provided little proof,
That when the playoffs roll around, he won’t disappear in a POOF!
As I think about who, an MVP QB could be,
Burrow’s always possible, especially with Ja’Marr and Tee.
One more struts through the locker room, a glove on each hand,
That’s Pickett, wishing to silence the doubters of the team he commands.
A slew of young guns to throw to til his heart’s content,
Is T-Law, whose nose is on the trail of the playoff scent.
Lamar stays ready, now with more dough in his pockets,
And when Marc Andrews is passed too, he nearly never drops it.
And lastly there’s Purdy. Yup, Mr. Irrelevant,
But when he gets that Niners offense going, it’s really quite elegant.
Many takes to debate, and questions yet to be answered,
Like who’s better, what’s a penalty, and which team’ got the best bird?!
The Cardinals, the Eagles, the Seahawks and Ravens,
And while they’ll likely be booty this year, don’t forget the Falcons!
Aikaman and Collinsworth, Nantz and Romo,
Burkhardt and Olson, Michaels and Tirico,
All wait eagerly to do what they do best;
Announcing games, while laying Fathers’ heads to rest.
So spring to your living rooms , couches and TVs.
You must soak up this season, to the highest degree!
I’m excited to say, with all of my might,
FOOTBALL’S BACK TOMORROW, ON THE MOST WONDERFUL THURSDAY NIGHT!